3 Oct 2011

A love story gone horribly wrong

It was the typical East-meets-West romance. Bellicose Western billionaire (few know he's neck-deep in debt) wows - if a bit boorishly - the frisky local lass on the slopes of the Himalayas. They settle down - well, sort of.

After a turbulent on-again, off-again relationship lasting three decade, the libidinous, little-blue-pill-popping (uncle) Sam has finally broken up with the feisty highland wench! And the mainstream tabloids and shrill talking heads on TV are having a field-day speculating about her more-than-maternal interest in one of the couple's several unruly love children!

Apparently, he now suspects she's been having 'it' behind his back all the while! (Tch, tch, the poor sods are always the last ones to find out.)

However, their break-up is particularly nasty, with much ugly name-calling and the threat of sordid linen being aired in public. (The pair had been - on more than one occasion - accused of getting up to some exceptionally deviant stuff!)

Meanwhile, the yokel from next door with who she's been having a torid, clandestine affair has dumped her inexplicably and unceremoniously!

As if conspiring to land a coup de grĂ¢ce to her grieving heart, both her ex-paramour and the licentious (uncle) Sam have flung themselves quite shamelessly into the ample bosom of her preening (and somewhat bewildered) eternal rival - the shy brunette living down the street.

On a classic rebound, the fiesty lassie for her part, cozies up to the notorious neighbourhood bad-boy - a shady, inscrutable oriental, who surprises everyone with his uncharacteristic vow: "Till death do us part!"

This could make for a riveting 100-something episode television soap-opera.

Or it could be a rather precarious geo-political situation developing in South Asia.

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