Nobody. Reads. Copy.

A copywriter may spend hours (yes, a good writer would spend hours crafting copy) chopping, chipping, pruning, and finally buffing away at the last jagged splinters of text to get a gleaming, finely polished 25-word gem of copy that no one reads.

Frankly, there's just too much written word coming at us in a day. We just can't be expected to read everything!

People surf. They browse. They don't read - superb layouts and typographical genius notwithstanding.

So what is the secret to survival (for writers at least) in the Era of the Superficial Scan? What distinguishes reader-worthy copy from daily drivel?

In Advertising, we have something called the 'consumer benefit' - or the 'what's-in-it-for-me'! But with virtually every medium saturated with ubiquitous, screaming (and often misleading) '50% OFFs', 'FREEs' and their ilk, both written and visual communication can easily miss the bullseye and hit a blindspot. What we need is a secret weapon!

I call it 'The Eye Trap'.

It's a steely hook, a razor-sharp barb that jabs and holds the scanning eye. You can almost hear 'The Eye Trap' snap shut a split-second before the victim reaches out for a 500-page self-help title in a bookstore. And when it's sticking out menacingly in the headline on a 24-page tabloid, it inevitably - rrip! - snags a passing eyeball.

It can take many forms.

Sometimes, it's a word:
- Scandal
- Controversy
- Rape
- Liar
- F***k, etc.

And at other times, it is a phrase as familiar as:
- 10 Ways To __________
- The Secret Of __________
- How To __________
- 3 Warning Signs __________
- 5 Reason Why __________

And sometimes it's as innocuous as an ironic title in a blog post.

What does a good Public Service Ad look like?

Well, it looks something like this...

The future's in the palm of your hand

Literally too.

The following presentation is a 104-page long assertion (with a 12-page disclaimer!) by Morgan Stanley on how internet usage is migrating from desktops to mobile devices.

I don't agree with everything they say. But the writing is on the wall is fairly legible: The future is mobile internet. And advertising's role in it is... well, changing.

The slide on desktop internet revenues:


The slide on mobile internet revenues:


And for those with patience, here's the whole shindig:

Morgan Stanley - The Mobile Internet Report - Summary 2010

View more documents from Andrei Marinescu.

With the domain evolving at the pace it is, I really can't say if the NEXT BIG THING is an app, a platform or a device. Or a combo. But I do believe it will be more local (geographic saliency). It will probably be mCommerce-centric (remember, payments can now be made through a mobile without a credit/debit card!).

And it'll probably catch a lot of us 'internet savvy' advertising professional completely unawares!

There may be a way out... but we'll have to give up our self-destructive mania for being medium specific. But I think that thought deserves a post all it's own.

'Ctrl Z' in real life

Tell me about it!

I had overstretched myself for more than a week on an ambitious project. Everything was chugging along fine too - till someone spotted a silly mistake on the morning of the presentation! A mistake that could potentially put paid to several days of hard work by a dozen people. A mistake that perhaps I could have prevented if was a little more observant.

I sat there with my heart in my throat, fractically calling my editor, and praying that it be set right in time... I mean going down in a blaze of glory is one thing. But over a 'spello'? Eew!

It was touch and go. But we made it. Just.

Phew!

MY HEROES OF THE DAY: Waleed and Subhash for spotting the goof-up; Saif for pulling 24 hours straight without a wink and then dragging himself back from bed to the editing studio, Fahad for driving over 15km to-and-fro 4 times - Oh, and God for everything else!

(Hope we get this. Insha-allah.)

Google gobbles!

A 2009 ranking of the most valuable sporting properties by SportsPro Magazine (published by the Henley Media Group) placed the National Football League (NFL) as the world's most valuable sports property at $4.5 billion.

Remember Apple's '1984' commercial aired once - just once - on NFL Superbowl.

The NFL is followed by Major League Baseball at $3.9 billion, National Basketball Association (NBA) at $3.35 billion, and Nascar at $1.9 billion. All from the US of A.

At No.5 comes the Indian Premier League (IPL) at $1.6 billion. After a mere two years of existence, it may be recalled that IPLs' 2nd edition resuscitated the Indian Ad industry (and its economy, to some extend) during a rough year.

Well, the 3rd edition of Indian Premier League (IPL) will be streamed live (ok, 5 minutes after TV) on www.youtube.com/ipl.

Google has bought the online rights for IPL content for the next two years. It'll share sponsorship and advertising revenues with IPL.

Um... does anyone else hear a 'search engine' revving?

Is being stupid, thinking different?

Diesel's new 'Be Stupid' campaign brings to mind Apple's 'Think Different' campaign. After all, both are in open defiance of conventional thinking.

Apple's campaign, in the 80s, followed the fashion of the age and relied on hindsight to make its point. Diesel follows the present day assumption that - well, everybody's got some talent (at least enough to get them on reality TV)!

Let's see the ads again...

First up, Apple usurping Gandhi's ideals.



And then, Diesel exhorting us to turn into imbeciles.



So is the thinking different? Or am I just stupid?

Does your name embarrass you?

Frankly, mine did. Till I gained the maturity to realise that the really important thing is what that name stands for, not how it's spelt or pronounced (or in my case, mispronounced). I thought: Bonaparte. Dickens. Pele. Tata. FAG (don't snigger, google "Schaeffler Group").

Perhaps, I was wrong.

The venerable South India-based 'Dhanalakshmi Bank' has changed it's name to a more contemporary, 'Dhanlaxmi Bank' in a bid to appeal to the youth! (http://www.afaqs.com/perl/news/story.html?sid=26018)

Apparently, name-sensitivity among the youth is ubiquitous and universal.

In another nomenclature-based attempt by a financial institution to reach out to the youth, the trillion-dollar 'Charles Schwab Corporation' in the US informs us that it would henceforth, prefer to be addressed simply, as 'Chuck'. (http://dognpony.wordpress.com/2010/01/06/ohmygod-like-chuck-is-sooooo-rad/)

My question to these cool, hip, and obviously with-it, financiers is only this: If an average 18-25yr old were to come by $100, would he/she be more likely to: a.) invest, or b.) buy an iPhone?

Take your time.

But what I really like about Dnlxmi Bnk's (honestly, isn't this more 'in'?) new identity is it's all-encompassing functionality. Supposedly, the new identity "exudes a modern, vibrant and contemporary look while retaining the core values of trust and heritage built by the bank over its long history".

No, it's not over... "The new identity reflects the Bank’s growth aspirations in the context of evolving demographics of the young India. Retaining the brands core strengths and values, the new identity is aligned to attitudinal position of today’s youth - modern yet rooted in tradition”.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you create an identity for yourself. By being indistinguishable.

But seriously, is there an all-pervasive software that writes 'new brand identity' PRs?